May 31st - I grow more anxious

I am very anxious now to see the oncologist. I regret the delay in scheduling the biopsy. I am mad at the lab for not getting the results in sooner. I don’t understand why the report, which was written on May 18, was sent to the vet until his office requested it on May 27th. I am mad at the vet for not recognizing that the growth looked like the pictures of mast cell tumors that I found on the Internet. I am mad that the bleeding didn’t cause him more alarm.  I am mad at myself for waiting to do the biopsy after the agility trial.

I am growing more and more anxious about the time we have to wait to see an oncologist. When the prognosis is 2 months, every day counts. And how long has she been Stage III? If we had done the biopsy in April, would she be “only” a Stage II? I call the oncologist’s office and see if I can get in any sooner.  Nope, booked up.

I know there are two other good oncologists in the area (Washington, DC area).  I do some research about them, call and leave three messages at one of them.  Finally at 4:30 pm, I get through to a receptionist and get an appointment for tomorrow at 10:30 a.m.

I order a book online from Amazon—Help Your Dog Fight Cancer: What Every Caretaker Should Know About Canine Cancer, Featuring Bullet’s Survival Story, 2nd Edition - Paperback (June 2008) by Laurie Kaplan——it should be delivered tomorrow.

I am worried about how I am going to pay for treatment. I maxed out all my credit cards paying for her back surgery and rehab. How am I going to pay for this? I want to and will do the very best I can for my Abigail. But my resources are extremely limited at this point.

Now, I must read all the research I have printed out to be prepared for tomorrow’s appointment.